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I finally figured out what it is about stoners that annoys me so much. They’re the Jehova’s Witnesses of recreational drugs. I’m glad y’all enjoy it, but please, for the love of God, stop trying to convert me. It ain’t gonna work. Don’t want it. Don’t need it. Simple as that.

caseyanthonyofficial:

My brother just turned 17 today I’m going to take him to Portland and get him a handjob from one of the cashiers in Chinatown

Um…

How are you going to give it to him???

Remember when you had to stop at all the toll booths and toss a bunch of coins into a big white plastic cone? You just kinda parked there on the highway and waited your turn, and hopefully you’ve prepared your change beforehand so you don’t have to panic and twist all over the car looking for spare change. And when it’s your turn you throw it as hard as you can, and sometimes you missed and the coins got everywhere and it was the most embarrassing thing ever because the lady sitting in the booth saw the entire pathetic display along with everyone behind you. That was fun. I kinda miss those days.

fuckyeahtx:

austinstatesman:

INTERACTIVE TIMELINE: Events leading up to Gov. Rick Perry’s indictment on two charges Friday related to his 2013 effort to force District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg to resign after her drunken driving arrest. See more: http://atxne.ws/1pRNE9R

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA AWWWEEESSSOOMMMEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope he rots in jail, that un-Texan, two-faced, no-good sum’ bitch.

fuckyeahtx:

austinstatesman:

INTERACTIVE TIMELINE: Events leading up to Gov. Rick Perry’s indictment on two charges Friday related to his 2013 effort to force District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg to resign after her drunken driving arrest. See more: http://atxne.ws/1pRNE9R

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA AWWWEEESSSOOMMMEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope he rots in jail, that un-Texan, two-faced, no-good sum’ bitch.

ezelsklap:

niallwardvevo:

ventai:

HE HAS RETURNED

HE’S BACK

THE GOD

As vulgar as this guy is…I just can’t get enough of him. Troll on, good sir!

rivertrash:

malformalady:

Square nipple tattoo(before and after) by Ben Wallenborn

why

If I saw that, I would be so confused.

rivertrash:

malformalady:

Square nipple tattoo(before and after) by Ben Wallenborn

why

If I saw that, I would be so confused.

porkskins:

motdef:

I can’t even open a program to screenshot this

everything is good

Shhhhhshshshshsh hush now child, you are safe. Forever.

porkskins:

motdef:

I can’t even open a program to screenshot this

everything is good

Shhhhhshshshshsh hush now child, you are safe. Forever.

gifak-net:

[video]

Goddamn that looks like so much fun!

gifak-net:

[video]

Goddamn that looks like so much fun!

yeevil:

bax16:

Grackles are great. They’re like scruffy little crows. Little hobo crows that go around eating scraps.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK. GRACKLES ARE THE WORST. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND.

Guys I was wrong about the grackles. Lord High Entomologist, Count of Brazos County tells me that grackles are actually the worst. I humbly beg your forgiveness for this oversight and submit to the authorities for judgment.

helpusgreatwarrior:

hallo